Two isn't always better than one

So I'd always read articles about women talking about sex being boring and how you just look at the ceiling and wait until it's over while going over your grocery list, your to-do list and what clothes need to be taken to the cleaners. I'd never had that happen to me until last night. I don't know what the problem was. I'm tempted to chalk it up to the hormones interferring with my sex drive but I wonder if it was something else. Mark was grumpy when I got there and, despite my attempts, never really improved in mood. Now, I understand that he's got a lot to deal with - we both do. But I was almost tempted to just cancel the date before it happened. It was too hot out and I just didn't quite get the vibe from him that I have previous. So we eventually got onto the sex and couldn't get a position that worked. It just seemed ... monotinous. We both fell asleep after and, at 1:30, I woke up and left. Usually it's a difficult decision to leave or stay but, somehow, this time it was easy. I wanted back into my bed which was bigger than Mark's twin with cotton sheets and nice pillows. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with him, I just didn't want to be there. The whole 'res room' thing kind of bothers me. It's so small, I never know where to sit or what to do. And the bed really isn't designed to fit one let alone two so one of you ends up being uncomfortable.

And, if that wasn't enough, the night before James and I talked for an hour and a half about us. It's the first time I've ever seen him show any kind of emotion or wanting. It almost felt me feel wanted and needed. Almost. But when I kissed him it was nothing like kissing Mark. Maybe there's more physical chemistry with Mark. Well, scratch the maybe. But I wonder if James' interests run closer to my own. Mark has my parents and Sara in his column while James has my best friend in his column. I just don't know which column I fall into. And, at the end of the day, that's what matters. I just have to decide where to put my line.